Rejection. Fear of the unknown. Different strokes for different folks. What do all these have in common? YOU! (Me too!) I was often rejected throughout my childhood (don't cry for me,lol) by my peers, and internalized that rejection into self hate. Tough pill to swallow, but let's be realistic, from early on we are "grouped" into clicks at school, church, even in our homes based solely on "popularity". Sometimes even on looks or what you can do "better" than someone else. If you are not in these groups than you become an "outsider" you have been rejected. Who you are and what you have to offer is not "good" enough for the click. How tragic is that, yet it is a societal reality. If you don't fit in, you get the boot!!!
I've been under the microscope lately, I mean down to a molecular level and have taken this time to really see me for me. Rejection hurt me, it stifled my growth in many areas. It made me afraid to try new things for fear of being, well...rejected. Not only that but as I stated earlier, I hated myself, it was like I never fit in. I didn't have the right style or the right words or the right look for the clicks so I was always outside looking in.
I know, I know boo whoo whoo...everybody gets rejected, yes! True. Here are five major truths I learned about turning rejection into confidence that I discovered on my transformation journey to IAM.
1) Rejection often times has a lot to do with differences. Different is beautiful, it separates you and indicates you have your own ideas, beliefs and understanding. Realize your differences make you Unique.
2) Embracing rejection will boost your confidence if you let it. Take the thing that makes you different "rejected" and build on it, master it, flaunt it...be you!
3) Rejection or non acceptance does not makes you less than or unworthy, NEVER QUESTION YOUR WORTH!.
4) If you do not connect (or no longer connect) with someone in a level you thought you should it is okay. Be okay and move forward. Those who we are meant to be in your life with will accept you whole heartedly.
5) You do not have to internalize rejection, it ain't always you boo. People will deflect their insecurities outwardly and you may be the receptor.
I can only imagine the difference in perspective I would have had if someone would have explained these tactics to me earlier on in life...p.s. People also reject what they don't understand, we are creatures of habit. When presented with something unlike what we know it is our humanistic nature to reject it. That's scientific, I'm not going to get too deep on y'all on a Thursday. We all face rejection everyday, through an unreturned sentiment simple as saying hello with no return or through more drastic expressions like break ups.
Through it all know this, it does not matter that you were rejected. It doesn't even matter who rejected you, or when and how you were rejected. What matters most is what you do with that energy. The best thing you can do is use it as fuel to boost your confidence and remain different. Cuz different is always better. Always. If you are hurt by rejection like I was, please take time to address that hurt, forgive and heal. It will never get better lest you look at it face to face for what it is and self love makes it all better! Trust me, I know, I've done it for myself...
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